She's Back!
I recently had a discussion with my mom about my fluctuating emotional state that happens every year. She laughed at my dramatic reprise of how I feel every time one season of my life comes to an end. Imagine the "Whoa is me" look on my face and dramatic arm movements whilst I regale her with my emotional quandary. This is me. Every year. Without fail. Even when I know it's coming. It happens like this:
(Summer) I love my life! I love my Texas friends! I love my gym! I love my church! I love my bed! I love my routine! I don't want to go back to bobsled and disrupt this life I'm loving.
(First weeks of bobsled season) I don't like this. I'm uncomfortable. I'm surrounded by all these crazy, good athletes who intimidate me sometimes. I miss my friends, my church, my bed, my clothes, my kitchen. I want to go home.
(End of bobsled season) I love bobsled! I love my bobsled friends! I love sliding! I love not really having a routine! I love competing! I love this adventure! I don't want to go back to real life and disrupt this fun I'm having!
(First weeks of summer) I miss bobsled. I'm bored with my cubicle life. I miss my bobsled friends I've lived, trained and competed with the last 6 months. I miss being outside and competing and learning a new craft, but I know I need a break. Suck it up buttercup and get back to work.
(Please repeat this entire emotional circle for another year. It feels like that Monopoly card you dread so much. "GO TO JAIL: Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200." I realize that's a bit dramatic, but that's how it feels.)
Well I've gone through the whole gambit since my last post. Another bobsled season has come and gone, and my life is changing yet again. I have returned to Texas and my life as an engineer. I've got the Clark Kent alter ego thing down pat. Nerdy cubicle dwelling engineer vs. bobsledder in a spandex suit. All I'm missing is the cape, weird forehead curl, and the powers of flight, superhuman strength, x-ray vision, super-speed, and enhanced hearing. Other than that, we're basically the same.
I haven't really decided which version of myself is the alter ego. It's more like two halves of a whole I suppose, but I'm not diving into that deep pool of inner reflection at the moment. Here's what I do know. I haven't written anything, on this blog or otherwise, since August. I think that's the longest I've ever gone without writing something. Eight months is a long break. I thought about writing several times, but my life was hectic this season. I was busy honing my driving skills, working part time as an engineer and studying for my big engineering exam in April, while trying to have some fun every now and then. Finally getting back to writing brought this story to mind.
My family and I are super close. I've talked to my parents on a weekly basis since I left home for college, except for this one time. Like most college freshman, I was excited to spread my wings and leave the nest. I was a few hours away from home and excited to start this new chapter of my life. I think it was about a month into school, and I hadn't talked to my parents for a few days. I thought about calling, but life was busy with rowing and classes. A few more days went by. Mom and Dad didn't want to be the first ones to cave and call me since they were trying to give me some room to grow. By then, I thought I had waited too many days to call, so I planned to let them break the ice. This stretched to about a week and half I think, maybe even two weeks. We had silently agreed to a stalemate somehow, although both parties wanted to talk. I don't remember who called whom first, but I remember being so relived to talk to them. That's how I feel every time I come back to writing. Whether it's a few days or a few months, I'm always glad to be back. Sorry I made you wait so long.
This was my best bobsled season yet. I won't go into great detail at the moment, but I'll give you the highlights. My goals this season were to become more consistent as a pilot, improve daily and podium in a race. This was my fourth year in the sport and my third year driving. I learned and grew so much as a pilot this season. I was promoted into a better sled and really started honing my skills. The last two seasons were all about building a base for me. In order to start fine tuning and trying new things, you have to be consistent. How will you know if what you tried works without some control over the variables? You won't, so this year was really fun to see all the knowledge and seat time I've accrued start to come together. I feel like my driving improved in quality and consistency this year, especially on race day when it really matters. It was so exciting to see results. Ending my season with a bronze & gold on the NAC circuit and a bronze at Nationals was huge. I'll share more on that in a future post.
In short, I'm excited to be back writing and be back in Texas. Summer training just started last week. I'm super pumped for the new opportunities I'm jumping into this summer. Can't wait to see what happens next!
PS.
It's Mother's Day, so I have to give a huge shout-out to my mom. She's my biggest supporter, always encouraging me, dreaming with me and making me laugh until we're both crying. Thanks for being the best mom ever!
(Summer) I love my life! I love my Texas friends! I love my gym! I love my church! I love my bed! I love my routine! I don't want to go back to bobsled and disrupt this life I'm loving.
(First weeks of bobsled season) I don't like this. I'm uncomfortable. I'm surrounded by all these crazy, good athletes who intimidate me sometimes. I miss my friends, my church, my bed, my clothes, my kitchen. I want to go home.
(End of bobsled season) I love bobsled! I love my bobsled friends! I love sliding! I love not really having a routine! I love competing! I love this adventure! I don't want to go back to real life and disrupt this fun I'm having!
(First weeks of summer) I miss bobsled. I'm bored with my cubicle life. I miss my bobsled friends I've lived, trained and competed with the last 6 months. I miss being outside and competing and learning a new craft, but I know I need a break. Suck it up buttercup and get back to work.
(Please repeat this entire emotional circle for another year. It feels like that Monopoly card you dread so much. "GO TO JAIL: Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200." I realize that's a bit dramatic, but that's how it feels.)
Well I've gone through the whole gambit since my last post. Another bobsled season has come and gone, and my life is changing yet again. I have returned to Texas and my life as an engineer. I've got the Clark Kent alter ego thing down pat. Nerdy cubicle dwelling engineer vs. bobsledder in a spandex suit. All I'm missing is the cape, weird forehead curl, and the powers of flight, superhuman strength, x-ray vision, super-speed, and enhanced hearing. Other than that, we're basically the same.
I haven't really decided which version of myself is the alter ego. It's more like two halves of a whole I suppose, but I'm not diving into that deep pool of inner reflection at the moment. Here's what I do know. I haven't written anything, on this blog or otherwise, since August. I think that's the longest I've ever gone without writing something. Eight months is a long break. I thought about writing several times, but my life was hectic this season. I was busy honing my driving skills, working part time as an engineer and studying for my big engineering exam in April, while trying to have some fun every now and then. Finally getting back to writing brought this story to mind.
My family and I are super close. I've talked to my parents on a weekly basis since I left home for college, except for this one time. Like most college freshman, I was excited to spread my wings and leave the nest. I was a few hours away from home and excited to start this new chapter of my life. I think it was about a month into school, and I hadn't talked to my parents for a few days. I thought about calling, but life was busy with rowing and classes. A few more days went by. Mom and Dad didn't want to be the first ones to cave and call me since they were trying to give me some room to grow. By then, I thought I had waited too many days to call, so I planned to let them break the ice. This stretched to about a week and half I think, maybe even two weeks. We had silently agreed to a stalemate somehow, although both parties wanted to talk. I don't remember who called whom first, but I remember being so relived to talk to them. That's how I feel every time I come back to writing. Whether it's a few days or a few months, I'm always glad to be back. Sorry I made you wait so long.
This was my best bobsled season yet. I won't go into great detail at the moment, but I'll give you the highlights. My goals this season were to become more consistent as a pilot, improve daily and podium in a race. This was my fourth year in the sport and my third year driving. I learned and grew so much as a pilot this season. I was promoted into a better sled and really started honing my skills. The last two seasons were all about building a base for me. In order to start fine tuning and trying new things, you have to be consistent. How will you know if what you tried works without some control over the variables? You won't, so this year was really fun to see all the knowledge and seat time I've accrued start to come together. I feel like my driving improved in quality and consistency this year, especially on race day when it really matters. It was so exciting to see results. Ending my season with a bronze & gold on the NAC circuit and a bronze at Nationals was huge. I'll share more on that in a future post.
In short, I'm excited to be back writing and be back in Texas. Summer training just started last week. I'm super pumped for the new opportunities I'm jumping into this summer. Can't wait to see what happens next!
PS.
It's Mother's Day, so I have to give a huge shout-out to my mom. She's my biggest supporter, always encouraging me, dreaming with me and making me laugh until we're both crying. Thanks for being the best mom ever!
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| Mom and I determining if Doubles Luge was in our future. It's not, but we sure had a entertaining time ruling it out. |