2013 Reflections

This day has been one of reflection for me. It started last night and continued today. What is it about starting a new calendar that makes us stop and think? The sun will rise tomorrow just like the beginning of every other day, but seeing January 1st on the calendar makes us believe we can start fresh. Last night I read a great blog post by one of my favorite photographers, Me Ra Koh, that started me on this reflective journey today. She wrote:

"What did 2013 give you? Where did you find yourself unexpectedly? What challenges did you embrace, and what challenges did you walk away from? What new loves did you discover? What puzzles did you solve? You broke incredible ground this year. That is the strength, wisdom and testimony you bring into the new year. Take time to celebrate not just the end, but all that you've endured, discovered and risked. You are more inspiring than you give yourself credit for!"

Her words inspired me to read through my blog posts over the past year. I spent the morning reading everything I'd experienced, endured and embraced. It was fun to see how different some things are now from last year and how some things are exactly the same. One thread that wove itself through all my posts was about growth. I am constantly learning new things about God, myself, people, life and bobsled. I am a student of life, sport and competition more than I was before. Dreaming big, taking risks and being adventurous also stood out to me amongst all my writing. Reading and hearing me shine through the posts was fun. I have to say that I like me, and that's a pretty awesome thing to be able to truthfully say.

I also found that I have grown in confidence this year. I admit that I struggle in this area. I was a really shy kid, and it still takes me awhile to open up to people. I don't like to do things in public until I feel I've mastered them. Well...that's not a very realistic lifestyle. You can't master everything. I would be missing out on tons of life if I sat on the sidelines because I haven't mastered every skill. I often times found myself comparing my life and skills with other people and sitting out if they were better than me. "What if they reject me because I'm not good enough?" That's been a pretty common thought for me over the years. Writing this paragraph made me think of Rachael Weisz's character in the Brother's Bloom. She was confined to her house for her entire life so she collected hobbies. She had no connections with people, but she sure perfected many skills. Although I wish I could play the accordion and juggle chain saws on a unicycle, I'd prefer to venture out into the world and confidently swing for the fences knowing I will make mistakes.



Now that you know that about me, change and new situations where I don't feel prepared for new obstacles are not my favorite. I always disliked the first week of school or being a novice in sports because everything was new and uncertain. Learning how to drive a bobsled has definitely been uncomfortable at times. Change is not easy, and now my life seems to change all the time. I finally settle into a routine at home, and it's time to head out on the road for bobsled. I settle into a life of adventure, and it's time to head back to a life of routine. I find that I like both for different reasons, but changing back and forth is always unsettling.

We gain strength, courage and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face...we must do what we think we cannot. 

- Eleanor Roosevelt

This year I have faced many situations where I am completely uncomfortable and out of my element, yet I have not backed down. I have grown in confidence this year to embrace whatever I'm doing with gusto. (Okay, maybe just slight enthusiasm at times, but it's a big step up from dread.) It's alright to feel unsure, but don't let it hold you back from living your amazing life. Confidence comes from not always being right, but not being afraid to be wrong. This year has taught me it's not easy to fail, but I've learned that failures teach you so much more than success. I recently read this excerpt about confidence that I love. Confidence allows me to see past my current worry, fear or doubt to see the possibilities.

"When confidence shows up, it’s like a superhero arriving with a red cape blowing in the wind. She takes my hand and asks me to fly with her … to get a bigger picture of my circumstances, my future, my past.  When I feel my feet lose contact with the ground, I see how much more there is than the present troubles I’m facing.  I realize how small worry, fear, and doubt are. They can’t even fly. They can only wave, jump up and down, shout to me, but they are still like tiny people. From up high, they are easily overlooked. That is what confidence gives me, the power to shift how I feel despite my circumstances.  But I’m often in the trenches, not up high. So I do my best to find ways to feed confidence while I try to starve worry, fear, and doubt."

After looking back at all I've learned this year, I took time to dream about what the next year will bring. I wrote them down and said them out loud. Making dreams come true always starts with saying them out loud — taking your dreams out of hiding. Sometimes it's scary to share your dreams, the desires of your heart, even with yourself. It can be scary to believe what you think is impossible might come true. It can be scary to say it out loud, even when you're sitting in a room by yourself. Don't let that fear stop you. You never know where your path may lead once you speak your dream out loud. If you need an example, just take notes from Nick Selby. He knows how to dream big, and he's certainly not afraid to say it out loud.



This is your year to chase your dreams, be more confident, take greater risks, discover deeper depths of love for yourself and others, laugh more than you thought possible and experience adventure unlike any you've ever known! Thank you to everyone who has been and will be a part of my adventurous life. Huge thanks to everyone who broke for me, skeleton, bobsled and newcomer alike. Gimongous thanks to everyone who supported me monetarily, emotionally or spiritually this year. I wouldn't be the person I am without you all in my life. I know life in 2014 will be more than I can ever imagine, and I am looking forward to living it.

I'm heading back to Lake Placid next week for our last races of the season. I'll let you know how everything goes. Can't wait for the Olympics to start on February 6!